MAC Superior Bread knife $89.95 Better than the worthless bread knife from the knife block that you got as a wedding gift. Stop mangling great bread with that garbage knife, and get a real bread knife (this one).
Lello 4080 Musso Lussino Ice Cream Maker $719.00 If your ice cream sucked before, it'll probably still suck, but now you'll know that it's you, and it's not the ice cream maker.
SIN TV TRAY SERVING PLATTER $80.00 Critical for the friend who becomes existentially distressed when their carrots are touching their steak.
Kramer by Zwilling 10" Chef Knife $349.95 Great handle ergonomics, and I'm a huge fan of the European blade shape. Also, a 8" variant is available, since 10" isn't for everyone. Buy a Wüsthof Classic, a Misono UX10 gyuto, or a Masamoto virgin carbon steel gyuto, if this is too rich for your blood (and for the latter two, if you prefer Japanese blade profiles), but this is the knife that I love the most.
DeBuyer Mineral B Round Carbon Steel Fry Pan $59.96 (10.2-Inch), $89.95 (12.6-Inch) Lighter than cast iron, a smoother cooking surface, and faster to heat up. Great at searing steaks, and easy to hang for storage. Be sure to follow the manufacturer's instructions for initial seasoning. I would go with the pan size appropriate for your burner size, so if you can support it, go with the 12.6-inch.
wings+horns Cabin Fleece Robe $181.01 For when a hood on your bathrobe isn't really what you want, but it's what you need.
Crisbee Stik Original Cast Iron Seasoning Oil & Conditioner $12.95 It's pricey, but it's the best seasoning fat I've ever used, and in an extremely convenient form. Store it far away from your deodorant, trust me.
Rösle COARSE GRATER $40.00 Perfect for grating potatoes for Hanukkah latkes or mozzarella for pizza (because you know pregrated mozzarella is almost always terrible).
Breville | Polyscience the Control °Freak $1799.95 Seriously, I want one for cooking various things confit, making corned beef, making stocks, etc.
Flannery Beef California Reserve Dry Aged “Jorge“ Cut Ribsteak $68.00 (32oz) Intensely flavorful California Holstein rib steak from the father-and-daughter duo of Flannery's. A real steak eater's steak, the Jorge is cut from the chuck end of the rib section, and so it has a large rib cap, which is the most flavorful beef in the whole steer.
Gray Kunz Sauce Spoon $11.90 This is my spoon. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My spoon is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My spoon, without me, is useless. Without my spoon, I am useless.
ThermoWorks Thermopen Mk4 $99.00 This is the gold standard for instant-read thermometers (and it's waterproof). Stop doing the finger test and actually know the internal temperature of your food.
ThermoWorks Thermopop $34.00 A third of the price of the Thermapen, and not quite as accurate or quick, but still very good (splash proof, not waterproof).
Lobel's of New York American Wagyu Filet Mignon $79.95 (6oz, minimum order of two) As tender as it gets, and I've never had a fillet I've enjoyed more. Best seared hard and served rare. Add on a dry-aged USDA Prime rib steak ($79.95, 28oz) and porterhouse (36oz, $129.95) for two of the best examples of those cuts in the country.
Mike's Hot Honey Mike's Hot Honey Bottle $10.00 Put it on fried chicken, ricotta toast, ice cream, make your own version of Paulie Gee's Hellboy, put it on a different ice cream, maybe make more ricotta toast—I don't know, the world is your oyster I don't want to keep telling you how to use this stuff (maybe put it on oysters too, though).
Blanc Creatives Skillet $210–$280.00 (small–large) Fantastic artisan-made carbon steel skillet. Great wall design for searing and butter basting meats, and it's extremely well made. Hang it so you can show off to your friends how fancy your life is.
Blu Skillet Ironware 13" Fry Pan $350 Another incredible artisan-made carbon steel skillet. The handle shape makes it really nice to move around. These are next to impossible to just buy, so I've linked to the Flickr account from which I got the picture. If you're really interested, I suggest entering Blu Skillet's monthly lotteries or trying to grab a pan during their annual sale.
Chef's Press The Chef's Press v2 $18.90 Perfect for burgers, steaks, and everything else that would be trash without a good sear.
ThermoWorks Extra Big and Loud Timer $29.00 Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Get four.
Visvim Ballistic 22L, black $781.00 When all you want is a more expensive JanSport.
Board Smith Black Cherry Butcher Block $159.84 Everyone else might be sponsored by Boos, but we're not. This is the good stuff. If you follow the maintenance directions, it'll last a lifetime.
ThermoWorks Industrial IR with Circle Laser $69.00 Why would you put food in your pan if you don't know how hot the pan is? Also great for finding drafts in your home.
Etekcity Lasergrip 774 $16.99 This is the second IR thermometer on this list—do you understand how important this is yet? Get one for each hand, or buy it for someone who isn't worth the $69 for the ThermoWorks. This is what we use every day in our kitchen.
ThermoWorks ChefAlarm $64.00 Critical for cooking roasts and other meats in the oven. Add the Pro-Series High Temp 2.5-Inch Straight Penetration Probe ($18) for temping smaller items, like steaks, in the oven. The low temperature alarm is great for knowing when food has cooled sufficiently, or if food is reaching an unsafe temperature. It also comes with a carrying case. I have no complaints about this, except I wish it had a numerical pad. Please add a numerical pad, ThermoWorks.
ThermoWorks Dot $43.00 It's just as accurate as the more expensive ChefAlarm but without the frills—you've got two buttons to adjust the target temperature, a backlight, and that's it.
HVD Waffle Iron $2700.00 If you want to make Liège waffles, the Cuisinart Belgian waffle iron will not work, nor will anything else The WireCutter or Cook's Illustrated rates as their best Belgian waffle iron pick. They're all comparatively trash. The HVD is the best there is.
Junior's Original NY Plain Cheesecake $42.95 I don't care what happened on Throwndown with Bobby Flay; this is the “most fabulous cheesecake.”
Rodolphe Le Meunier Beurre de Baratte $15.00 The world's greatest butter. I've had every cultured butter under the sun; we've made butter countless times with good cream; this is the best, and it's not even close. Also, it's embossed with a cow—it's great.
Double R Ranch Deli Style Beef Franks $10.00 Great for parties if your friends and family are worth the $2.50 a dog. Nice beef flavor.
Bridgewater Choocolate 26 pc. All Milk Toffee $44.95 Probably the best toffees in the world.
Ralph Lauren Purple Label Men's Admiral Bear Sweater $1,495.00 You're never going to find a better Admiral Bear sweater for less.
Stadium Mustard 1 Gallon Bottle $24.00 For the man that has everything, here's a little bit more.
Amouage Jubilation XXV for Men, 100ml $305.00 Frankincense, myrrh—only a few donkeys short of smelling like the nativity scene.
Dough-Joe The Shogun – 15″ x 15″ x 3/8″ Pizza Steel Baking Sheet $61.85 Great for making pizzas at home if you've got a halfway decent oven. Won't break like a pizza stone. Yeah, you can go on eBay and get a 16" square piece of steel for cheaper, but that's not really convenient for a gift. Whoever does a 16" by 16" 3/8" thick square without price gouging customers crazily will get a spot in next year’s list.
The Baker's Board Gourmet Perfect Peel, 16X18X26 (8" Handle) $49.00 For launching pizzas only. Do not ever retrieve pizzas with this peel. Dust with semolina flour, and wipe the peel with a dry cloth to clean it. Do not get this peel wet. Do not oil this peel. Never going to steer you wrong with these gift descriptions.
Lloyd Pans Deep Dish Nesting Pan 14"x2" PSTK (H76R-14X2-PSTK) $30.46 Good for making bar pizzas and pan pizzas. Does not require any peels. Oven safe at over 700F. Do not dishwash at all, not even once.
Lloyd Pans SICILIAN PAN 12"x12"x1.5" PSTK (H76F-12X12X1.5-PSTK) AND LID (XSEP-12X12) $28.73 (pan), $16.58 (lid) Used to make Richard Eaglespoon's famous Sicilian pizzas. Oven safe at over 700F. Lid for convenience. You can maybe dish wash the lids, but don't put the pan itself in the dishwasher ever. Never ever.
Raz Imports Squirrel Faux-Fur Ornament $12.00 (for a single randomly selected squirrel) Classic squirrel style for the holidays.
Russ & Daughters GASPE NOVA SMOKED SALMON $44.00 per pound If you don't like this smoked salmon, there's no smoked salmon in the world that will satisfy you. Bring your own bagels.
JB Prince Rubber Cutting Board $33.00 Light, easy to clean, extremely convenient, and not bad for knife edges. Do not dish wash. Been there—just don't do it. If you do, contact me, and I'll try to help you fix it.
Norpro Magnetic Knife Tool Bar $12.66 (12"), $17.58 (18") The best way to store knives without damaging the edge.
Adenna Dark Light 9 mil Nitrile Powder Free Exam Gloves $15.99 Great for handling raw meats, and they can protect you slightly while slicing hot food. These are a size medium. They'll probably fit most people. If you're not usually a medium in gloves, look at their other sizes.
Hawk Krall Famous Lunch Art Print $25.00 Commemorate America's greatest hot dog with this Famous Lunch print. Buy it for your friends, kids and neighbors. You can never have enough of these.
Viberg Boot Men's Service Boot Black Chromexcel $670.00 It won't have the polish you'd see from some of the best European bootmakers, but it's certainly the best of the North American bootmakers doing the workwear aesthetic, and it'll be as solid of a boot as you can get.
Nordic Ware Quarter Sheet Pan, 2-Pack $17.24 You don't need a half sheet pan for reheating a slice of pizza. Stop. Use this; it'll fit in your dishwasher easily, and if you get the cooling rack, it opens up a ton of options for you.
Checkered Chef Quarter size cooling rack, 2-Pack $11.95 Perfect for dry-brining chicken and steaks, roasting small things, resting meats, breads, etc. Grab the half-sized one for fitting into standard half-sheet pans, which is useful for serving pan pizzas.
Kalustyan Black Peppercorn, Tellicherry, India $5.99–16.99 It's really good at being a black pepper. Remember, don't put pepper on steaks, burgers, etc. until after you sear (if at all), otherwise it'll burn.
Unicorn Unicorn Magnum Pepper Mill $36.90 It's not going to do a great job with grating pepper very finely, but short of that, it'll grind pepper with ease. You'll spill that Kalustyan pepper everywhere trying to refill this thing if you're not careful (or if you're anything like me), so have someone competent do it.
Anviplastics Plastic Dough-Retarding/Proofing Pan $6.95 For proofing balled pizza dough. Look, everyone's proofing in those 2qt round Cambro containers, and they're really kind of awful. The diameter is too small, and you end up misshaping your dough before you've even got it out of the container. Use this instead. Get the matching lid.
Lou Ana Mor-Gold Plus Butter Substitute $18.95 OK, so you've got the Whirley-Pop, and the Flavacol and the coconut oil, and so now you've perfected movie theater popcorn, right? Wrong. Your popcorn sucks. You need this to top your popcorn. It's got enough transfat to kill the entire Kentucky Derby, but it's legit.
S'well Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle, 17 oz $35.00 I can't claim this is the best insulated water bottle, but I really like the S'well bottle we got for free, and I'd imagine so will the person to whom you give this. I spill water all over myself when I try to drink from wider mouthed water bottles, so this is great.
Raz Imports Fox Faux-Fur Ornament $10.00 (for a single randomly selected fox) What does the fox say?
The Real McCoy's MEN's N-1 FIELD SHOES $995.63 They're the quintessential boondocker boot. Plus, everything The Real McCoy's makes is pretty much perfect for what it is. Can't go wrong with this if you like the look and it fits, and you don't care that we're currently in 2018.
Nordic Ware Eighth Sheet Pan $9.00 Great for reheating small foods, serving small foods, and generally everything to do with small foods. It's surprisingly great.
Dexter-Russell 8" Heavy-Duty Cleaver $51.00 Surprisingly useful cleaver. Great for parsing poultry, breaking up chocolate, crushing things, and cutting into gourds.
W. W. Norton & Company BraveTart: Iconic American Dessert $23.79 Must have cookbook for anyone even vaguely interested in making desserts. And it now comes with a James Beard Foundation seal.
Chris Reeve Knives Smmall Sebenza 21 $375.00 One knife that says it all.
Zero Japan Salt Box $35.00 You can open it with the flick of a finger; you don't have to find a place for the lid since it's on a hinge, and it looks good, what's not to like?
Balmain Men's Three-Pack Tricolor T-Shirts $345.00 ($235.00 with sale, at time of writing) Thoughtfully distressed by the famed French fashion house to make simple essential tees that you can wear separately or all at once to make a statement.
Italian Harvest Calabrian Chili Paste Bomba di Calabria $8.95 Put it on sandwiches, or eat it with a spoon, or don't—your loss. Great for giving grilled cheese an Italian flair.
Rick Owens DRKSHDW Men's Black Jason's Zip Hoodie $800.00 ($560.00 with sale, at time of writing) Ryan Reynolds wore it in the first Deadpool movie, which was really weird to see. Incredibly soft. Excessively long pull strings (in a good way). There's a hidden vertical velcro pouch hidden inside the kangaroo pockets.
Rick Owens DRKSHDW Womens's Black Regular Zip Hoodie $780 ($601 with sale, at time of writing) And yes, it's better than the American Giant hoodie hyped up on those other gift lists, but that's kind of like comparing a Honda Civic to the Millennium Falcon. Rick Owens loves to be able to fit a sandwich in the pockets of each garment he designs, so know that you'll be able to do that. It's unclear what kind of sandwich he likes to use, though.
Marchesi de Frescobaldi Frescobaldi Laudemio Extra Virgin Olive Oil $35.95 Is it really that green? Who's to say? But what I can say is that it's really great olive oil—buttery, peppery, uh, olivey? Yeah, olivey, that sounds good.
RSVP International Stainless Steel All Purpose 11 Ounce Shaker $9.95 Excellent for uniformly deploying Diamond Kosher Salt—stop using Morton's Kosher Salt; it uses anticaking agents, and it tastes saltier for the same volume versus Diamond.
MAC Superior Bread knife $89.95 Better than the worthless bread knife from the knife block that you got as a wedding gift. Stop mangling great bread with that garbage knife, and get a real bread knife (this one).
Lello 4080 Musso Lussino Ice Cream Maker $719.00 If your ice cream sucked before, it'll probably still suck, but now you'll know that it's you, and it's not the ice cream maker.
SIN TV TRAY SERVING PLATTER $80.00 Critical for the friend who becomes existentially distressed when their carrots are touching their steak.
Kramer by Zwilling 10" Chef Knife $349.95 Great handle ergonomics, and I'm a huge fan of the European blade shape. Also, a 8" variant is available, since 10" isn't for everyone. Buy a Wüsthof Classic, a Misono UX10 gyuto, or a Masamoto virgin carbon steel gyuto, if this is too rich for your blood (and for the latter two, if you prefer Japanese blade profiles), but this is the knife that I love the most.
DeBuyer Mineral B Round Carbon Steel Fry Pan $59.96 (10.2-Inch), $89.95 (12.6-Inch) Lighter than cast iron, a smoother cooking surface, and faster to heat up. Great at searing steaks, and easy to hang for storage. Be sure to follow the manufacturer's instructions for initial seasoning. I would go with the pan size appropriate for your burner size, so if you can support it, go with the 12.6-inch.
wings+horns Cabin Fleece Robe $181.01 For when a hood on your bathrobe isn't really what you want, but it's what you need.
Crisbee Stik Original Cast Iron Seasoning Oil & Conditioner $12.95 It's pricey, but it's the best seasoning fat I've ever used, and in an extremely convenient form. Store it far away from your deodorant, trust me.
Rösle COARSE GRATER $40.00 Perfect for grating potatoes for Hanukkah latkes or mozzarella for pizza (because you know pregrated mozzarella is almost always terrible).
Breville | Polyscience the Control °Freak $1799.95 Seriously, I want one for cooking various things confit, making corned beef, making stocks, etc.
Flannery Beef California Reserve Dry Aged “Jorge“ Cut Ribsteak $68.00 (32oz) Intensely flavorful California Holstein rib steak from the father-and-daughter duo of Flannery's. A real steak eater's steak, the Jorge is cut from the chuck end of the rib section, and so it has a large rib cap, which is the most flavorful beef in the whole steer.
Gray Kunz Sauce Spoon $11.90 This is my spoon. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My spoon is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My spoon, without me, is useless. Without my spoon, I am useless.
ThermoWorks Thermopen Mk4 $99.00 This is the gold standard for instant-read thermometers (and it's waterproof). Stop doing the finger test and actually know the internal temperature of your food.
ThermoWorks Thermopop $34.00 A third of the price of the Thermapen, and not quite as accurate or quick, but still very good (splash proof, not waterproof).
Lobel's of New York American Wagyu Filet Mignon $79.95 (6oz, minimum order of two) As tender as it gets, and I've never had a fillet I've enjoyed more. Best seared hard and served rare. Add on a dry-aged USDA Prime rib steak ($79.95, 28oz) and porterhouse (36oz, $129.95) for two of the best examples of those cuts in the country.
Mike's Hot Honey Mike's Hot Honey Bottle $10.00 Put it on fried chicken, ricotta toast, ice cream, make your own version of Paulie Gee's Hellboy, put it on a different ice cream, maybe make more ricotta toast—I don't know, the world is your oyster I don't want to keep telling you how to use this stuff (maybe put it on oysters too, though).
Blanc Creatives Skillet $210–$280.00 (small–large) Fantastic artisan-made carbon steel skillet. Great wall design for searing and butter basting meats, and it's extremely well made. Hang it so you can show off to your friends how fancy your life is.
Blu Skillet Ironware 13" Fry Pan $350 Another incredible artisan-made carbon steel skillet. The handle shape makes it really nice to move around. These are next to impossible to just buy, so I've linked to the Flickr account from which I got the picture. If you're really interested, I suggest entering Blu Skillet's monthly lotteries or trying to grab a pan during their annual sale.
Chef's Press The Chef's Press v2 $18.90 Perfect for burgers, steaks, and everything else that would be trash without a good sear.
ThermoWorks Extra Big and Loud Timer $29.00 Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Get four.
Visvim Ballistic 22L, black $781.00 When all you want is a more expensive JanSport.
Board Smith Black Cherry Butcher Block $159.84 Everyone else might be sponsored by Boos, but we're not. This is the good stuff. If you follow the maintenance directions, it'll last a lifetime.
ThermoWorks Industrial IR with Circle Laser $69.00 Why would you put food in your pan if you don't know how hot the pan is? Also great for finding drafts in your home.
Etekcity Lasergrip 774 $16.99 This is the second IR thermometer on this list—do you understand how important this is yet? Get one for each hand, or buy it for someone who isn't worth the $69 for the ThermoWorks. This is what we use every day in our kitchen.
ThermoWorks ChefAlarm $64.00 Critical for cooking roasts and other meats in the oven. Add the Pro-Series High Temp 2.5-Inch Straight Penetration Probe ($18) for temping smaller items, like steaks, in the oven. The low temperature alarm is great for knowing when food has cooled sufficiently, or if food is reaching an unsafe temperature. It also comes with a carrying case. I have no complaints about this, except I wish it had a numerical pad. Please add a numerical pad, ThermoWorks.
ThermoWorks Dot $43.00 It's just as accurate as the more expensive ChefAlarm but without the frills—you've got two buttons to adjust the target temperature, a backlight, and that's it.
HVD Waffle Iron $2700.00 If you want to make Liège waffles, the Cuisinart Belgian waffle iron will not work, nor will anything else The WireCutter or Cook's Illustrated rates as their best Belgian waffle iron pick. They're all comparatively trash. The HVD is the best there is.
Junior's Original NY Plain Cheesecake $42.95 I don't care what happened on Throwndown with Bobby Flay; this is the “most fabulous cheesecake.”
Rodolphe Le Meunier Beurre de Baratte $15.00 The world's greatest butter. I've had every cultured butter under the sun; we've made butter countless times with good cream; this is the best, and it's not even close. Also, it's embossed with a cow—it's great.
Double R Ranch Deli Style Beef Franks $10.00 Great for parties if your friends and family are worth the $2.50 a dog. Nice beef flavor.
Bridgewater Choocolate 26 pc. All Milk Toffee $44.95 Probably the best toffees in the world.
Ralph Lauren Purple Label Men's Admiral Bear Sweater $1,495.00 You're never going to find a better Admiral Bear sweater for less.
Stadium Mustard 1 Gallon Bottle $24.00 For the man that has everything, here's a little bit more.
Amouage Jubilation XXV for Men, 100ml $305.00 Frankincense, myrrh—only a few donkeys short of smelling like the nativity scene.
Dough-Joe The Shogun – 15″ x 15″ x 3/8″ Pizza Steel Baking Sheet $61.85 Great for making pizzas at home if you've got a halfway decent oven. Won't break like a pizza stone. Yeah, you can go on eBay and get a 16" square piece of steel for cheaper, but that's not really convenient for a gift. Whoever does a 16" by 16" 3/8" thick square without price gouging customers crazily will get a spot in next year’s list.
The Baker's Board Gourmet Perfect Peel, 16X18X26 (8" Handle) $49.00 For launching pizzas only. Do not ever retrieve pizzas with this peel. Dust with semolina flour, and wipe the peel with a dry cloth to clean it. Do not get this peel wet. Do not oil this peel. Never going to steer you wrong with these gift descriptions.
Lloyd Pans Deep Dish Nesting Pan 14"x2" PSTK (H76R-14X2-PSTK) $30.46 Good for making bar pizzas and pan pizzas. Does not require any peels. Oven safe at over 700F. Do not dishwash at all, not even once.
Lloyd Pans SICILIAN PAN 12"x12"x1.5" PSTK (H76F-12X12X1.5-PSTK) AND LID (XSEP-12X12) $28.73 (pan), $16.58 (lid) Used to make Richard Eaglespoon's famous Sicilian pizzas. Oven safe at over 700F. Lid for convenience. You can maybe dish wash the lids, but don't put the pan itself in the dishwasher ever. Never ever.
Raz Imports Squirrel Faux-Fur Ornament $12.00 (for a single randomly selected squirrel) Classic squirrel style for the holidays.
Russ & Daughters GASPE NOVA SMOKED SALMON $44.00 per pound If you don't like this smoked salmon, there's no smoked salmon in the world that will satisfy you. Bring your own bagels.
JB Prince Rubber Cutting Board $33.00 Light, easy to clean, extremely convenient, and not bad for knife edges. Do not dish wash. Been there—just don't do it. If you do, contact me, and I'll try to help you fix it.
Norpro Magnetic Knife Tool Bar $12.66 (12"), $17.58 (18") The best way to store knives without damaging the edge.
Adenna Dark Light 9 mil Nitrile Powder Free Exam Gloves $15.99 Great for handling raw meats, and they can protect you slightly while slicing hot food. These are a size medium. They'll probably fit most people. If you're not usually a medium in gloves, look at their other sizes.
Hawk Krall Famous Lunch Art Print $25.00 Commemorate America's greatest hot dog with this Famous Lunch print. Buy it for your friends, kids and neighbors. You can never have enough of these.
Viberg Boot Men's Service Boot Black Chromexcel $670.00 It won't have the polish you'd see from some of the best European bootmakers, but it's certainly the best of the North American bootmakers doing the workwear aesthetic, and it'll be as solid of a boot as you can get.
Nordic Ware Quarter Sheet Pan, 2-Pack $17.24 You don't need a half sheet pan for reheating a slice of pizza. Stop. Use this; it'll fit in your dishwasher easily, and if you get the cooling rack, it opens up a ton of options for you.
Checkered Chef Quarter size cooling rack, 2-Pack $11.95 Perfect for dry-brining chicken and steaks, roasting small things, resting meats, breads, etc. Grab the half-sized one for fitting into standard half-sheet pans, which is useful for serving pan pizzas.
Kalustyan Black Peppercorn, Tellicherry, India $5.99–16.99 It's really good at being a black pepper. Remember, don't put pepper on steaks, burgers, etc. until after you sear (if at all), otherwise it'll burn.
Unicorn Unicorn Magnum Pepper Mill $36.90 It's not going to do a great job with grating pepper very finely, but short of that, it'll grind pepper with ease. You'll spill that Kalustyan pepper everywhere trying to refill this thing if you're not careful (or if you're anything like me), so have someone competent do it.
Anviplastics Plastic Dough-Retarding/Proofing Pan $6.95 For proofing balled pizza dough. Look, everyone's proofing in those 2qt round Cambro containers, and they're really kind of awful. The diameter is too small, and you end up misshaping your dough before you've even got it out of the container. Use this instead. Get the matching lid.
Lou Ana Mor-Gold Plus Butter Substitute $18.95 OK, so you've got the Whirley-Pop, and the Flavacol and the coconut oil, and so now you've perfected movie theater popcorn, right? Wrong. Your popcorn sucks. You need this to top your popcorn. It's got enough transfat to kill the entire Kentucky Derby, but it's legit.
S'well Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle, 17 oz $35.00 I can't claim this is the best insulated water bottle, but I really like the S'well bottle we got for free, and I'd imagine so will the person to whom you give this. I spill water all over myself when I try to drink from wider mouthed water bottles, so this is great.
Raz Imports Fox Faux-Fur Ornament $10.00 (for a single randomly selected fox) What does the fox say?
The Real McCoy's MEN's N-1 FIELD SHOES $995.63 They're the quintessential boondocker boot. Plus, everything The Real McCoy's makes is pretty much perfect for what it is. Can't go wrong with this if you like the look and it fits, and you don't care that we're currently in 2018.
Nordic Ware Eighth Sheet Pan $9.00 Great for reheating small foods, serving small foods, and generally everything to do with small foods. It's surprisingly great.
Dexter-Russell 8" Heavy-Duty Cleaver $51.00 Surprisingly useful cleaver. Great for parsing poultry, breaking up chocolate, crushing things, and cutting into gourds.
W. W. Norton & Company BraveTart: Iconic American Dessert $23.79 Must have cookbook for anyone even vaguely interested in making desserts. And it now comes with a James Beard Foundation seal.
Chris Reeve Knives Smmall Sebenza 21 $375.00 One knife that says it all.
Zero Japan Salt Box $35.00 You can open it with the flick of a finger; you don't have to find a place for the lid since it's on a hinge, and it looks good, what's not to like?
Balmain Men's Three-Pack Tricolor T-Shirts $345.00 ($235.00 with sale, at time of writing) Thoughtfully distressed by the famed French fashion house to make simple essential tees that you can wear separately or all at once to make a statement.
Italian Harvest Calabrian Chili Paste Bomba di Calabria $8.95 Put it on sandwiches, or eat it with a spoon, or don't—your loss. Great for giving grilled cheese an Italian flair.
Rick Owens DRKSHDW Men's Black Jason's Zip Hoodie $800.00 ($560.00 with sale, at time of writing) Ryan Reynolds wore it in the first Deadpool movie, which was really weird to see. Incredibly soft. Excessively long pull strings (in a good way). There's a hidden vertical velcro pouch hidden inside the kangaroo pockets.
Rick Owens DRKSHDW Womens's Black Regular Zip Hoodie $780 ($601 with sale, at time of writing) And yes, it's better than the American Giant hoodie hyped up on those other gift lists, but that's kind of like comparing a Honda Civic to the Millennium Falcon. Rick Owens loves to be able to fit a sandwich in the pockets of each garment he designs, so know that you'll be able to do that. It's unclear what kind of sandwich he likes to use, though.
Marchesi de Frescobaldi Frescobaldi Laudemio Extra Virgin Olive Oil $35.95 Is it really that green? Who's to say? But what I can say is that it's really great olive oil—buttery, peppery, uh, olivey? Yeah, olivey, that sounds good.
RSVP International Stainless Steel All Purpose 11 Ounce Shaker $9.95 Excellent for uniformly deploying Diamond Kosher Salt—stop using Morton's Kosher Salt; it uses anticaking agents, and it tastes saltier for the same volume versus Diamond.